BAD Feeling About This

Posted: June 7, 2026 | Author: Dr. Ernie | Filed under: AI-Powered Essays | Tags: emotions, psychology, values | Leave a comment

Sequel to ROC the V: Voting on Valence

A Star Wars parody inspired by the Bodily Affect Divide

Write a campy Star Wars parody exploring the malfunctioning “emotion/drive” distinction in affective science, featuring parodies of real psychologists debating how to handle the Millennium Falcon’s bodily signals before discovering that the problem was actually their classification.

ChatGPT Prompt (condensed)

Opening Crawl

A long time ago, in a psychology department far, far away…

The Galactic Empire has completed construction of the dreaded BAD Computer, a machine capable of classifying every bodily sensation into one of only two categories:

EMOTION or DRIVE.

For decades, scientists have argued over which sensations belong in which box.

As confusion spreads across the galaxy, Han “William James” Solo races aboard the Millennium Falcon, pursued by the terrifying Sith Lord…

DARTH PAUL EKMAN.

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Scene 1: The Falcon Malfunctions

Alarms blare.

The Millennium Falcon lurches violently.

Han Solo slams the hyperdrive controls.

“Come on, baby!”

Nothing.

Princess Lisa Feldman Barrett examines a glowing display.

“What does the diagnostic say?”

Han groans.

“The BAD computer is analyzing the situation.”

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