Woolman: Wisest Way to Lose An Argument
Posted: August 26, 2025 Filed under: AI-Powered Essays | Tags: argument, competition, debate, dialogue, emotions, truth, wisdom Leave a comment(A shaded portico, outside time. Three figures gather: Aristotle in a white himation, Mahatma Gandhi with walking stick and smile, and Eli Dourado checking notes on a tablet. A low table. Three cups of tea.)
1. Cast and Premise
- Aristotle — philosopher of rhetoric (logos/ethos/pathos), friend of practical wisdom.
- Gandhi — architect of satyagraha (“truth-force”), master of nonviolent persuasion.
- Eli Dourado — modern economist/rationalist associated with steelmanning (the mirror-image of the straw man).
Premise: Define and illustrate the Woolman Argument — a non-religious framing of an approach where you see an opponent’s emotional assumption disguised as logic and, instead of exploiting it, you willingly let them use it to “savage” you — so that their dependence on it becomes visible.
2. Opening Exchange
Aristotle (measured): Friends, we have straw men, which misrepresent; and steel men, which fortify. But you propose Woolman. What animal is this?
Eli (wry): A very soft one. Steelman says, “Make your opponent’s case the strongest.” Woolman says, “See where their argument is riding an emotional assumption — and instead of calling it out, step into it. Let them dismiss you with it.” It’s not deception. It’s strategic vulnerability.
Gandhi (warm): You speak of what I call truth-force. Sometimes the surest path to conscience is not refutation but exposure — not of the other, but of oneself.
Aristotle (skeptical): Yet rhetoric aims at persuasion. Why would one choose to appear naïve or weak?
Gandhi: Because some walls are not in the intellect but in the identity. If I strike your logic, your identity defends. If I expose my own weakness, your identity reveals itself.
Eli: Right. In online debates, I can tell when a person’s claim is less “logic” than status anxiety. Woolman refuses to score that point. It invites the hit instead.
3. Defining Woolman
3.1 A Working Definition
Eli (scribbling on the tablet): Try this:
- Woolman Argument: A deliberative move where you discern the emotional stake beneath another’s “logical” claim and, rather than expose it, you confess a vulnerability that invites them to wield that stake against you. You don’t defend. Their reaction reveals the stake to bystanders (and sometimes to themselves).
Aristotle (nodding): Not persuasion by logos, but by ethos under pressure and pathos unmasked.
Gandhi (quiet): And by patience. One must bear the blow without returning it.
3.2 How Woolman Differs
- Strawman: Distort the other’s argument to defeat it.
- Steelman: Strengthen the other’s argument to test your own — aligned with the principle of charity.
- Woolman: See the non-logical foundation (fear, status, belonging), and instead of exposing it, offer yourself where that foundation will strike — and accept the strike.
Aristotle: A paradox: to lose with intention so that truth may appear without your victory dance.
4. Three Illustrations
4.1 Workplace: “Pure Rationality”
Eli: Scene: a product meeting.
- Manager: “Real professionals are purely rational. Intuition is sloppy.”
- You (Woolman): “Maybe I’m not a real professional, then. When we lost users last quarter, my gut noticed the vibe before the metrics did. I rely on that more than I admit.”
- (Manager pounces): “Exactly! That’s why we need someone serious.”
Aristotle (aside): The audience now sees the hidden premise — the manager’s identity is anchored in being “rational.” If you had argued, he’d defend it harder. Your willingness to be “sloppy” reveals the status anxiety without accusation.
4.2 Politics: “Law and Order”
Gandhi: Scene: a public forum.
- Official: “Justice means obeying every law. Dissenters are criminals.”
- You (Woolman): “I suppose I’m a criminal, then. When the permit office ignored our filings, we marched anyway. I accept the fine.”
- (Official triumphs): “See? Lawbreakers admit it.”
Gandhi (gentle): Your acceptance invites the audience to ask: Is obedience the whole of justice? No accusation, no flight — just visible conscience.
4.3 Culture: “Success Metrics”
Eli: Scene: a podcast.
- Host: “If you can’t quantify it, it isn’t real progress.”
- You (Woolman): “Then I guess my progress isn’t real. After burnout, I kept my job by sleeping more and calling my mother. No spreadsheet shows that.”
- (Host scoffs): “Sentimentality.”
Aristotle: The pathos is laid bare — the host’s safety lives in metrics-as-meaning. Your “loss” becomes an ethos many recognize as human truth.
5. The Mechanics Under the Skin
5.1 What You Actually Do
- Discern the emotional assumption (control, identity, status, purity) propping up the “logical” claim.
- Confess a real vulnerability that the assumption would condemn.
- Invite the other to dismiss or “savage” you — and do not defend.
- Trust that what needed revealing will be clearer because you did not force it.
Aristotle (counts on fingers): This requires phronesis (practical wisdom) to know when a soul is ready to see itself — and courage to be the mirror.
5.2 Why It Works (Psychology, not piety)
- Identity-protective cognition (cf. cultural cognition): people defend tribe-self, not just claims.
- Loss aversion: your “win” threatens their sense of self; your surrender lowers the stakes.
- Social proof: observers feel your ethos; the other’s overreaction highlights their stake.
Eli: In rationalist terms, Woolman lowers defensive priors by refusing the adversarial frame.
5.3 Ethical Guardrails
- No manipulation: you tell the truth about yourself.
- No martyr theater: you don’t signal-boost your “sacrifice.”
- No contempt: you respect that the other’s stake was once protective.
- No endless self-effacement: you can exit a harmful exchange; Woolman is a choice, not a compulsion.
Gandhi (firm): Vulnerability without dignity is not truth-force; it is harm. Hold your spine as you bare your heart.
6. A Mini-Workshop In-Scene
6.1 Aristotle Tests a Line
Aristotle: Suppose a sophist declares, “Only the measurable persuades.” I might reply:
- “Then I am unpersuasive. When my student wept at a speech, I counted no numbers, yet I changed my course.”
(He pauses.)
Eli (grins): Clean Woolman. You let the measurable standard dismiss you, and you don’t reclaim status.
Gandhi (nodding): And you invite witness: do they recognize the truth in your loss?
6.2 Gandhi Offers a Civil Example
Gandhi: A registrar insists, “Order is moral; disruption is immoral.”
- “Then I accept I am immoral: we will sit in the road until your clerk reads our petition aloud to the crowd.”
(He smiles.)
If he fines us and the crowd sees who heard whom, the seed is planted.
Aristotle: Ethos by endurance. Pathos by contrast. Logos by implication.
6.3 Eli Translates for the Internet
Eli: Thread reply: “If you don’t cite RCTs, it’s pseudoscience.”
- “Then call me pseudo. Therapy stopped me from doomscrolling; no RCT for my brain.”
No victory lap. Just stand there. Some readers will feel the gap between lived truth and gatekeeping.
7. When Not to Use Woolman
7.1 Aristotle’s Caveats
- Not with an abuser: that rewards predation.
- Not when safety or rights are at stake in the moment: defend and appeal.
- Not to perform virtue: the scent of performative surrender ruins the point.
Aristotle: Woolman is for souls capable of seeing. It is a scalpel, not a sword.
7.2 Gandhi’s Measure
- Ask: “Will my silence invite conscience — or simply validate cruelty?”
- If the latter, change venue; protect the vulnerable.
Gandhi: Truth-force seeks conversion, not humiliation.
8. Naming It Cleanly
8.1 The Three “Men” (A Mnemonic)
- Strawman — Misrepresent the other to beat them.
- Steelman — Represent the other at their best to learn or test.
- Woolman — Reveal the stakes by offering yourself where their assumption can strike — and accepting the strike.
Eli (light): Wool because you’re shearable and you don’t bite.
Aristotle: And because it keeps others warm after you’ve lost some.
Gandhi (smiles): A fitting sacrifice.
9. Curtain: A Final Exchange
Aristotle (reflective): I concede: Woolman is not against rhetoric; it is rhetoric at the level of character.
Eli: Steelman respects arguments; Woolman respects people — enough to let them show themselves.
Gandhi (rising): And to show ourselves first. Let the last word be silence.
(They sip the last of their tea. A breeze lifts the edges of the himation. No one summarizes. They simply stand, each a little less defended.)
10. One-Sentence Takeaway
Woolman: Seeing an emotional assumption hiding inside a “logical” claim, you choose not to expose it but to bear it — letting the other “win” so the deeper truth can surface without your victory needing to.
The Tapestry of Reciprocal Leadership
Posted: December 21, 2024 Filed under: AI-Powered Essays | Tags: argument, dialogue, humility, purpose, reconciliation, relationships, religion, values Leave a commentSequel to How MAET Turns TEAMS Around (and Also Saves Civilization)
Explain the journey of reciprocal leadership using a tapestry viewed from three perspectives: John Gottman, David Marquet, and later Saint Francis. It starts out exciting, but leads to disillusionment.
ChatGPT Prompt (greatly condensed)
Then something miraculous happens…
Act 1: Shared Excitement
Scene: A serene monastery courtyard. The sun casts a golden glow over an ancient stone wall, where a large, intricate tapestry hangs. The label beneath it reads: “Reciprocal Leadership.”
Enter JOHN GOTTMAN, reflective and warm, and DAVID MARQUET, precise and deliberate, from opposite sides of the stage. They stop in front of the tapestry, staring at it curiously.
GOTTMAN (gesturing to the tapestry)
Look at how interconnected it is. Each thread supports the others, like a family—built on trust and shared understanding.
MARQUET (studying the pattern closely)
Interconnected, yes, but orderly. Each thread has a role and direction, like an organization—efficient, driven by clarity and intent.
The Great American Marriage: Kamal Harris v. Donna Trump
Posted: November 19, 2024 Filed under: AI-Powered Essays | Tags: argument, dialogue, ideas, intellectual, polarization, politics, reform, relationships, transformation, values Leave a commentWrite a hunorous three-act play where the American political divide is portrayed as a couple, Donna Trump and Kamal Harris.
ChatGPT Prompt
In Act II, show their therapist Miriam Bowen-Friedman guiding them to a breakthrough using self-harmonization and the example of Jefferson and Adams.
Highlight how their conflicts mirror their inner struggles and how embracing their rejected parts (Donna’s logic, Kamal’s passion) leads to personal and relational growth, especially for parenting their kids.
#InternalFamilySystems
Act I – “Divided We Bicker”
Setting: The living room of the America household. The room is divided down the middle. On one side, everything is red, adorned with eagles and a MAGA hat on the coffee table. On the other side, it’s blue, with a climate change poster and a Ruth Bader Ginsburg bobblehead on the shelf. Donna Trump, wearing a red power suit and pearls, is pacing aggressively. Kamal Harris, in a navy blazer with a cup of herbal tea, is calmly sitting on the couch.
Scene 1: The Disagreement
Donna Trump (hands on hips):
Kamal, I’m telling you, we need a wall! The neighbor’s kids keep cutting through our yard. It’s disrespectful!
Kamal Harris (raises an eyebrow, sipping tea):
Donna, we don’t need a wall. We need a fence, maybe even a community garden. Let’s invite them over and talk about why they’re cutting through.
Donna Trump (throws her hands in the air):
Talk? TALK? By the time you’re done “talking,” they’ll have taken the lawn chairs, the grill, and the doghouse!